Prometheus

Synopsis: Ridley Scott returns to the Alien universe in a loose prequel to his genre-defining sci-fi horror.

“Well, that was a little bit shit, wasn’t it?” Those were the first words to escape my lips after the credits rolled and I turned to look at my friend, who had just died a little inside. He’s a Ridley Scott fan, defending works that a lesser man would dismiss as a bit crap. But then, like Ridley, he’s an incredibly visual person. And Ridley Scott has given us some amazing imagery over the years. Alien and Blade Runner were a one-two punch that define the look of science fiction to this day. Given that SF has been feeling a bit stale lately, the return of Ridley Scott to his own beloved franchise should be a cause for celebration. Instead, I’m gripped with fear at how he’s going to screw up the sequel to Blade Runner, now being scripted.

What’s so bad about Prometheus? The script, and really that’s it. Scott has always been heavily dependant on his material and he’s been badly let down here. Here’s a quick (admittedly cynical) rundown: A naïf (Noomi Rapace) and a douchebag (Logan Marshall-Green) discover a series of cave paintings across the world that point to a star system with a small habitable moon. The naïf believes it’s an invitation by the creators of humankind to come and find them. A dying industrialist (Guy Pearce in heavy makeup) bankrolls them to the tune of several trillion dollars to go and find this planet. A cold-hearted bitch (Charlize Theron) who runs his company accompanies them to supervise the investment, along with the noble black captain with a thing for 20th century music (Idris Elba) and his crew of racial minorities. Oh, and a couple of incompetent scientists fill out the expeditionary complement, along with David (Michael Fassbender), the android precursor to Ash and Bishop (so you know he’s got to be up to something). They land, and shenanigans ensue. But the shenanigans are kinda lame. There’s bits lifted from Alien (bickering crew members who get caught out and die), Aliens (an attempted smuggling of alien life-forms inside the body of a crew member), The Thing (infected crew members contorted into strange forms and destroyed by fire) and an attempted Lovecraft reference too.

Seriously guys, squid monsters have been done to death, and the reason Alien was freaky was because the alien itself was so otherworldly. There’s no imagination on display in the plotting, and it’s generally dull to watch. There are a few decent sequences. Noomi Rapace’s Elizabeth subjecting herself to an emergency caesarean is squirm inducing and David exploring the alien vessel does bring a sense of awe to the proceedings. But it’s too little. Referencing other films in the franchise, or within the genre, it has little of its own to offer.

If it’s unfair to bag Prometheus for failing to be original, I will bag it for failing to take those random strands of DNA and forging a fresh chimera. Characters lack solid motivation, act stupidly when they’re supposed to be intelligent, and generally just annoy. And it’s the motivation thing that really gets to me. Summed up, the motivations on offer are greed, love and hope. Theoretically good motivations for characters, but played out become “I’m not paid enough for this shit, I’m outta here”, “Why don’t you love me,daddy?”, and “Just because this place is a disaster area and everyone is dead doesn’t mean the aliens will be hostile.” People act against their better instincts because they don’t have any. It’s hard to get attached to morons. Witness the sudden change from “You tried to impregnate me with an alien monster” to “Oh, you’re heading out again? Sure I’ll come along too.” Awful, just awful.

It’s pretty to look at, but I understand why the trailers revealed so little about the film. The dirty little secret of Prometheus is that there’s nothing to give away. It’s just empty set-pieces and undeveloped ideas, building to nothing. What a waste!

 

 

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