Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen

Synopsis: Sam (Shia LeBouf) is off to college, but the ongoing war between the Autobots and Decepticons kills that plan off quickly as he is drawn into battle that will decide the fate of the world (again).

This is an epic failure of a film. Literally. It’s epic in scope, ranging from China to Egypt and everywhere in between, and it fails almost constantly. In Transformers, Michael Bay seemed to have found the perfect material for his hyper-kinetic style. After making one bad film after another, he finally nailed a good one. It must have been an accident. It’s hard to believe the same writers, cast, director and producers worked on both films. While there’s a definite continuity between the two, this one completely lacks the charm, wit, and dare I say it, coherence of the first film. Transformers had a very simple story, but it worked and was filled with the joy of discovery, a sense of awe, and a clever twist on the American mythology of a boy and his car. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen replaces this with big explosions, shots peeking up Megan Fox’s shorts, an incoherent story ripped from 'Chariots Of The Gods' and jokes that are so lame you have to wonder if it was intended for them to be so awful.

The Autobots are lesser characters in this film. They actually filled out their personalities once upon a time, but here everyone is a secondary character to the explosions. Ironhide and Ratchet barely feature, and even Optimus Prime and Bumblebee get short shrift. Megatron (Hugo Weaving), a dangerous and menacing figure in the first film, has become little more than a henchman to the Fallen of the title. There’s a Darth Vader style scene between Megatron and the Fallen that’s cringeworthy, and to see the mighty Megatron reduced to this should be enough to make any geek weep. But like Darth Vader, there is a little good in the film. The massive forest battle in the middle of the film is pretty, and on an IMAX screen it’s fun to see a life-sized Optimus Prime beating up three Decepticons. But, it’s lacking in emotional investment. The scenes just happen, the fights are undermotivated, and you just don’t care what happens. Major characters get beaten to death and it barely registers. The film isn’t interested in how its characters react to events, it’s just horny for the next explosion. It’s impressive on a technical/visual level, but things going boom aren’t interesting when you’re subjected to two hours of non-stop explosions.

It feels like the filmmakers thought they had figured out what made the first film so good, and tried to turn it up to 11. It’s a pity they got it so wrong. Character, story and wit might make an appearance, but blink and you’ll miss it. And you’ll blink a lot with the ADD editing and chaotic framing. Somewhere in this might be a good film, and maybe if it has been edited it down to about 90 minutes it could have worked. But as it is, this is the lamest and most self-indulgent sequel to be foisted on the movie-going public since The Matrix Revolutions.

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